Chocolate and Marriage
A few weekends ago, Sam and I finally visited Markham and Fitz (M&F), an incredible Chocolate Dessert Bar, Cafe & Factory located in the coolest area in Bentonville.
My friends, the Blanco's, have put countless hours into making this thing happen and I couldn't be more proud of them.
Saturday mornings have become one of my favorite things. It's the only morning Sam and I get to spend together as he works much longer hours than I do and leaves the house an hour before I even wake up.
We continually get asked how marriage is, and almost immediately, we both say that we, "10/10 would recommend." No really, that's what we say. Typically, the response to that answer is a confused look and a follow-up question wondering why we didn't say marriage was hard. At first, that response would throw me off, but marriage has actually been one of the easiest transitions for us both.
Why is the first thing we're telling people about marriage is that its hard?
When I think of my marriage, "hard" is one of the last words that come to mind. I'm not sure I would even say marriage is hard. Marriage itself isn't what's hard; different views, upbringings, goals, desires and EXPECTATIONS are what's hard.
We definitely have had our disagreements, but we never let the sun go down on our anger (no matter how late we have to stay up to resolve whatever is going on). We're each other's biggest advocates and supporters, and when we disagree, we always try and trace it back to what our expectations were, along with how and why they weren't met.
Sam is so wise, and he's an incredible leader. You can ask ANYONE on our worship team or anyone that knows Sam and they'll tell you the exact same thing. I made the decision to tell him the things I was struggling with internally early on. It was hard, SO hard, to admit that being in this person's presence made me jealous or being in this person's presence made me insecure, but it has been vital to my healing and restoration.
Vulnerability is important regardless of the stage of life you're in or the amount of time that you've been married. I never want to stop asking my friends how their marriage is. I never want to come across like we've got this marriage thing down and don't have anything to learn. I never want to be too prideful to admit what I'm struggling with. I never want to be too independent that I'm not willing to get on my knees and ask the Lord to check my heart.
So no, marriage isn't hard. But learning to settle our differences, swallow our pride, say I'm sorry first and admit when we're wrong... that's hard.
Champion each other. Have hard conversations. Celebrate your differences.
How is marriage? I'd recommend it, 10/10.